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was dying down now.
Somebody yelled, Let him talk.
Pop kind of gulped, like he had a catch in his throat.
Well sir, men, he went on. That there girl, Miss Choo-
Choo Caroline, is lost right here on this farm somewhere
The Diamond Bikini 142
and men, she saved my son s life. I want her found, so I
can thank her. He kind of broke down then, and had to
wait a minute before he could go on.
What she done, men, was the bravest thing I ever
heard of in my life. But wait a minute, everybody. Wait a
minute. I see my son down there in the crowd right now,
and I m goin to let him tell you in his own words. Billy,
will you come up here? Make way there, men, and let him
through.
I gulped down the last of my hamburger and started
towards the stage. Everybody moved aside to let me
through. When I got to it, Pop leaned down and caught
my hands to lift me up, and there I was right in front of
everybody. He put an arm across my shoulders. The
crowd let out a cheer.
Now, son, he says, pulling me over in front of the
microphone and lowering it a little, I want you to tell
everybody out there what a heroic thing that girl done,
savin your life, an how much you think of her.
I started out. I told em how we was swimming and how
the water suddenly started getting chewed up all around
us with that noise the guns was making on the other
bank. And when I was telling how she caught me by the
neck and pulled me under the water and towed us along
till we was under the bushes, I looked around and
doggone if Pop wasn t crying. He was trying to hold back
the tears, kind of gulping like he was swallowing
something too big for his throat, and then at last he had
to haul out his handkerchief and dab at his eyes. When I
finished up everybody was cheering and waving their
hats.
We ll find her, Billy, they yelled.
Pop took hold of the microphone again, and had to
clear his throat a couple of times before he could talk.
There you are, men, he says. That s the kind of girl
Miss Choo-Choo Caroline is. Besides bein one of the
most beautiful women that ever lived, she s one of the
bravest. An now she s been lost down there in that wild
river bottom for over eighteen hours with hardly a stitch
of clothes on, nor nothin but that little patch of diamond-
covered ribbon half the size of your hand, with the
mosquitoes bitin her all over that lovely body an
brambles scratchin her on the legs, an nothin to keep
The Diamond Bikini 143
the night chill off. We got to find her, men. We just got to
find her.
The crowd let out a big roar then. It was getting bigger
all the time. Then I saw Uncle Sagamore coming up on
the stage.
Pop went on. An now here s my brother Sagamore,
that s in charge of the search. He s been up all night
without a wink of sleep, goin back and forth across that
bottom tryin to find her. And he ain t goin to give up as
long as there s a breath left in his body. He knows the
river bottom like you know the palm of your hand, and
he ll tell you anything you want to know about it.
Everybody cheered Uncle Sagamore. He took hold of
the microphone and shifted his tobacco over into the
other cheek, and says, Well sir, men, I ain t no hand at
makin speeches. You all know that. I m just goin to tell
you I appreciate you comin out to help an I know you re
going to be just like me. You re goin to be right here, by
hell, till that girl is found.
Now, naturally, a man can t look all the time. We
wouldn t expect him to. He s got to have a little rest now
an then, so there s refreshment up here, and
entertainment for when you get tired.
There was a big commotion up the hill then, in that jam
of cars just this side of the gate. And just as I looked,
three big hound dogs came lunging through the last row
of cars and into the open section of the road. They was
yanking along some man that had hold of their leashes,
and then they gave a big lunge and pulled him off his
feet. He slid along on his stomach for maybe his own
length before he could get up, and when he did and I got
a look at his face, doggone if it wasn t the sheriff. He was
dusty and sweaty and limping a little, and his face was
purple. It looked like he was cussing the dogs or
something, but they was baying and the loudspeakers
was going on with Uncle Sagamore s speech, so you
couldn t be sure. Behind him was another man with three
more of the big, long-eared dogs.
They come on down and hit the edge of the crowd and
began pushing their way through, being more or less
pulled along by the bloodhounds or whatever they was.
The Diamond Bikini 144
Just as they got down in front of the stage, Uncle
Sagamore looked out and saw them.
Well sir, by golly, he says into the microphone.
Here s the shurf. He s come to help us. It s just like I
was sayin , men, he might be a little late gettin on the
job, but I knowed he wouldn t let us down.
The sheriff got the dogs stopped. He looked up at us on
the stage and at the five naked girls behind us, and he
pointed at Uncle Sagamore with his mouth open and his
face as purple as a ripe plum, but you couldn t tell
whether he was saying anything or not.
I always said that shurf was a damn good man, Uncle
Sagamore went on, an I tell you right now there wasn t
never the slightest doubt in my mind that he d come here
sooner or later an help us out in our hour of need. I got
to admit, though, that it does seem to me like it was kind
of cheap of the shurf s office not to offer no more than a
little old measly five-hundred-dollar reward for that girl.
I d be the last one in the world to find fault, but it does
seem to me they could of made it at least a thousand.
The crowd let out another big cheer.
Uncle Sagamore finished up. Well, I ain t goin to
stand here an jaw at you fellers all day. You don t want
to look at no homely old bastard like me, with all them
pretty girls up here to dance for you. So I thank you
kindly.
He stepped away from the microphone and the man
came back. All right, folks, he says, now we ll give you
a little sample of the stupendous show you ll see inside
the tent. So step right up and get your ticket. Only one
dollar
Music blared out of the loudspeaker then and we all
got down off the stage so the girls could dance. It was
real pretty to watch. They kicked their legs up high and
wiggled all over.
Men was pushing around the little stand to buy tickets.
I followed Pop and Uncle Sagamore down towards the
house. The Sheriff was shoving his way through the
crowd with the dogs, and I could see he was trying to
catch up with us. I caught Uncle Sagamore s arm.
I think the sheriff wants to see you, I says.
The Diamond Bikini 145
He stopped. Why, sure, he says. We was under the
big tree near Mrs Home s shiny trailer.
The sheriff come up. He handed the leashes of the
three hounds to the other man to hold.
He waved his hand, sort of. Sagamore Noonan he
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