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the same realization. Near the McDonald s where little Caitlin was found.
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Geographically, it was starting to fit into place. Get that photo to every
storefront in the neighborhood.
Already done, LT. Jacobi s eyes had that little sparkle they got when he
was holding something back.
There been a lot of calls, I said, cocking my head at Warren. What makes
you think this one s real?
He winked. She was buying an asthma puffer.
Chapter35
CINDY, CLAIRE, AND I had finished most of our Coronas and a plate of wings by
the time Jill arrived. She hung her coat and came up warily to the booth, the
nerves easy to read in her thin smile.
So, she said, dumping her briefcase, and tossed herself next to Claire,
who wants to be first to prod?
No dissection, I said. Wings . . . and here . . . I tilted what was left
of a beer into her glass.
We all raised our glasses, Jill a little hesitantly. We had this moment of
quiet, everybody trying to figure out just what was right to say. How many
times had we met together before? At first, four women with tough jobs who had
come together just to pool our resources, solve a crime.
To friends, Claire said. Ones who will be there for one another. That
means for anything, Jill.
I d better drink this, Jill said, her eyes starting to grow moist, before
I run my nose in it.
Jill drained about a third of the glass in a deep swallow. She drew a breath.
Okay, no reason to beat around the bush, right? You all know?
Everyone nodded.
Telephone, telegraph, tele-Boxer. Jill threw a wink my way.
If you re in pain, we re all in pain, Claire said. It would be the same
for you if the roles were reversed.
I know it would. Jill nodded. So I guess what happens next is that you
guys tell me I don t exactly fit the profile of the typical battered spouse.
I think the only thing that s next, I said, wetting my lips, is for you to
tell us how you feel.
Yeah. She drew a tight breath. First, I m not battered. We fight. Steve s
a bully. He s never hit me with a fist. He s never struck my face.
Cindy moved to object, but Claire held her back.
I know that doesn t exonerate him, or justify anything. I just wanted you to
know. She bit her bottom lip. I guess I can t describe how I feel. I ve
tried enough of these cases to know the range of emotions. Mostly, I m
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ashamed. I m ashamed to admit that this is me.
How long has it been going on? Claire asked.
Jill leaned back and smiled. You want the truthful an-swer to that question,
or the one I ve been telling myself the past few months? The truthful one is,
from before we were married.
I felt myself clench my teeth.
It was always something. What I would wear, something I would buy for the
house that didn t fit his style. Steve s very big on telling me I m stupid.
Stupid? Claire gasped. You run intellectual rings around him.
Steve s not dumb, Jill said. He just doesn t see a lot of possibilities.
At first, he would just squeeze me, likehere, in the shoulders. Always pretend
that it was inadvertent. Once or twice he threw things when he had a fit. My
purse. Once, I remember she started to laugh it was this slab of Asiago
cheese.
Why? Cindy shook her head, incredulous. Why would he do these things to
you?
Because I paid a bill late. Because I splurged on a pair of shoes when we
were starting out and low on funds. She shrugged. Because he could.
This has been going on since we ve known you? I said, stunned.
Jill swallowed. Guess I ve been holding out on you guys, huh? The waitress
had brought some quesadillas and there was a Shania Twain song in the
background. It s like you re bribing me. She dipped a quesadilla in some
guacamole and laughed. New interrogation method. Yes, I know where Osama bin
Laden is hiding, but please, another one of those little cheesy things if you
would.. . .
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